Everyone’s talking about therapy, but would you consider enlisting in group sessions? You might think group therapy is for addiction, or maybe divorcees—but these aren’t the only reasons one might seek support from a group. Both times I’ve ended up in group therapy were because I signed up for one-on-one therapy, but the mental health services within my insurance network were overbooked. (#America.) These groups allow therapists to work with more patients. And yeah, it does kinda sound like a “hold you over” type treatment for those that need therapy but can’t get frequent appointments.
So, I didn’t have the highest hopes, but I’m pretty open to any method that might curb my anxiety, so I gave it a try… twice.
Let me premise this with a little background: I’ve completed two group therapy “programs”, one was about 12 weeks, I think another was a bit longer. Both in my late twenties, both in recent years. The first was a womens-only anxiety + depression group, the second was open to everyone, and for stress and anxiety. One took place in Los Angeles, the other here in Seattle and they both approached it differently (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy vs Acceptance and Commitment Therapy), but these lessons were basically the same.
I wanted to write this because it’s very easy to say “no” when your doctor asks if you’d be willing to try Group—I mean it’s kind of an anxious or depressed person’s nightmare (as if talking to one therapist wasn’t enough, let me do it in front of strangers!). I surprised myself by saying yes. But even though I didn’t get out of it what I went to therapy for (a lot is done on your own while working with the material), I still feel it was worth a stop (well, two) on my mental health journey. Here’s why:
I Am Not Alone
You can hear the words “you are not alone” 1,000 times, but nothing will convince you like seeing it in action. Walking into a room with anywhere from 5-10 people that signed up for the same treatment you did definitively proves that YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE. Honestly, you could stop reading right now and just sign up. That’s how valuable that lesson was for me—and I think for a lot of people with depression and/or anxiety.
I mean, the very fact that therapists are suggesting group so much, and that it’s so hard to get an appointment with a therapist these days, shows just how not alone we are.
We All Need Community
As humans it is natural that our mental health is greatly influenced by our senses of community. I agree, and I say this as an introvert with social anxiety. I always thought therapy would be helpful for me, but it wasn’t until I’d been living far from family and most of my friends, working 100% remotely, and being alone until my boyfriend came home from work every night (thank goodness) that things became unmanageable. My anxiety became severe, and I experienced depression for the first ongoing time in my life.
Going to group therapy greatly quelled these feelings of isolation. Having a place to go every Thursday evening, even if it was with a group of strangers whose stories were nothing like mine, gave me a sense of community. If isolation is a struggle for you, keep this in mind. People will tell you to join a book club or volunteer or whatever, and that may work too. But I’d dragged myself to so many community events all by my freakin’ self, pushed myself HARD as a socially anxious introvert, but felt SO defeated—being in Group helped me when I had nowhere else to turn.
It’s An Accomplishment
Popular advice regarding anxiety and depression is that having a sense of accomplishment goes a long way in affecting your mood and self-worth. When you are depressed, getting out of bed feels IMPOSSIBLE. Taking a shower, making a meal, all of these things sound so heavy. This is incredibly hard to explain to those who haven’t dealt with it.
This was emphasized in every treatment I’ve experienced, and it’s such an important take-home message. It takes you from thinking, “I have to do A, B, C, D, E…” to saying, “I just have to do A—just have to get out of bed…” And when it’s something you haven’t done in a while, it’s going to feel so good to know you did.
Oh, and getting yourself to Group every week? Or even most weeks? That’s MAJOR.
I Can Do Hard Things
I don’t know about you, but I know literally NO ONE who would be willing to attend group therapy, let alone talk or write about it publicly. Yet, I know plenty of people who struggle with mental health. (Though I recognize that I don’t know everything; it’s 100% a friend’s right not to volunteer that information to me.) Going to Group gave me a sense of pride because it was a really tough thing to do, to get myself there (sometimes taking two buses there and back in shitty weather, just to go listen to people I didn’t have much in common with)—and to put myself out there like that. I’m honestly so proud of it. Now when I’m nervous about a social event or meeting, I can think, well, I’ve done Group, I can do this.
I Belong, No Matter What
When I first started Group, I felt like a total impostor. I had been struggling, feeling isolated for so long, yet when I got there, seeing all these amazingly strong women—a lot of single moms, or people with incredibly difficult jobs or whose husbands cheated—I thought wow, wait, what am I sad/anxious about?
But that’s the thing. We can all be at completely different places in life and still seek help. We all deserve to get help and support. We can be 20 or 40 or 60.
Everyone’s Lessons Are Different
I’ve always been fascinated by the study of psychology—it’s always interested me in high school and throughout college. I read about mental health and the human brain whenever I can. I’m an INFJ, after all—I want to look into exactly why my mind does this or that. It’s fascinating and it’s maddening. So a lot of the formal lessons I learned in Group I had heard here and there. But I really loved seeing what different people took away from different lessons. Things that I thought, “okay, duh” sparked epiphanies in others, while little tidbits a peer would say set a lightbulb off in my own head, even for something that seemed so obvious. I learned to appreciate that we all find different things helpful.
I Am Not Selfish
For spending money on my mental health, for taking time out of my day to go, for focusing on me and only me—the adage that you must love yourself before you can love another pretty much hits the nail on the head. There are moms who go to improve their relationships with their children or partners, employees who go to learn how to better deal with problems at work, and there are people like me—who feel, deep down inside, like I can be better if I give this a try. I am not selfish for it and neither are you.
Final Thoughts
I think there’s plenty of reason to go to group therapy, even if it’s not your first choice. The thing about Group is that it doesn’t last forever. It’s a fairly short-term solution, but I think it’s wonderful for setting yourself off on a healthier path. Just like anything else, if you don’t keep working at it, you’ll end up where you started, but at least therapy arms you with the tools to keep going on your own. Two years later, I’m still reading the book that was recommended in my last session.
We would love to hear your experiences with group therapy or thoughts on the topic. Please share, if you’d like!
Love your advice
Thank you so much!