The topic of sensitivity is one of my favorites to discuss because its complexity is constantly weighed down by societal standards and stereotypes and surface-level definitions that aren’t often looked past. While the HSP personality is a ‘buzzy’ topic you may be currently hearing a lot about, not nearly as many people delve into its core characteristics, inner-workings, and implications on society at large.
Oh, there’s so much to be discussed! Today we’re going to go back to basics, though, because in my own journey I’ve found it helpful to break these concepts up over time—it’s one of those things that, the more you look into, the more you find, and that can be both inspiring and overwhelming when discussing a part of your very self. Let’s begin:
what to know about the hsp personality
Being highly sensitive is a personality trait, not a disorder.
There is no such thing as highly sensitive person treatment. If you feel that your own sensitivity negatively impacts your wellbeing, it doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. It likely means that you haven’t quite figured out how to navigate the world as someone who is more sensitive than many of the people surrounding you. Every moment, you’re bombarded with stimuli (that you didn’t ask for!), and as an HSP you need to learn how to filter it, create boundaries, and as Elaine Aron says in The Highly Sensitive Person, do things in your own style.
You may also be dealing with high stress or a mental health struggle such as anxiety or depression. You might feel more anxious or isolated if you haven’t figured out how to work with your sensitivity instead of against it, but being sensitive doesn’t intrinsically mean you have a disorder.
Sensitivity, and therefore high sensitivity, is a neutral characteristic.
If someone calls you sensitive, you might be tempted to Google, “Is HSP bad?”. But it’s neither bad, nor good, as a characteristic itself. We’re often told that sensitivity is a weakness and that we should try to fix this about ourselves. You may have also seen artwork and messaging combatting this stereotype by asserting that sensitivity is a strength, which can be supportive and inspiring. (And, yes, sensitivity can absolutely be a strength.) The truth is that sensitivity can have both negative and positive effects on our own wellbeing and how we live.
Consider some other personality traits: agreeable, introverted, empathetic, even nice. These can be amazing qualities, but can also get you in to trouble at times, emotionally.
And let’s talk about the qualifier, here: high. It’s not simply that the higher the sensitivity one possess, the worse (or better) it is/they are. It simply can’t be boiled down to such extremes.
We all experience the HSP personality trait differently.
Like everyone else, HSPs are all different beings with so many other traits that make them unique. We all experience our lives differently because of these traits. This is really important to remember after reading point #2, because it means that you can be both challenged and empowered by your sensitivity.
I’ll have to dive deeper into this point in a follow up post, but what you need to know now is that you’ll experience sensitivity as positive or negative or a million other things at different points. But if you identify with the HSP personality trait, you should seek to get to know this part of you. Understand how it helps and hinders. Learn which situations and relationships are worth your energy or not. Realize that you can approach life a little differently than your not-as-sensitive counterparts and that’s okay and actually a really good idea.
One word does not define you.
I’ve let many words define me throughout my life: sensitive, anxious, creative, introverted… the list goes on, and it’s full of positive and not-so-positive self-beliefs. But the truth is one word could never define what makes up your Self. There is so much to you than any word—or even most words—can describe.
